So, this is a funny story. It all started with me and my friends (Monica and Miranda) chillin' the local Erbert and Gerbert's sub shop. We were just talking and laughing and such, when we see this kid named Tubtub (haha, funny name) zoom by outside on his foot-powered scooter. I see him walk in. Then Miranda (who obviously didn't think he came in) said, "I can't believe Tubtub was on a scooter!" Monica and I were looking at Tubtub right after Miranda said that. So, naturally, Miranda looks at what we were looking at. WE ALL STARTED LAUGHING RIDICULOUSLY :D
Eventually, Monica broke up the laughter by telling us that he can hear us because his earphones were on backwards (so the sound is moving away from his head, instead of into it). SO NATURALLY.... I looked at his earbuds...I guess I was staring. Haha. I just couldn't understand why he had them in so weirdly. Then it looked like part of the earphones were being used as ear gauges. So I got this confused look on my face as I stared toward his ear.
He then put on his "tough thug" face, and looked right toward me (with one of those looks that says, "I don't feel comfortable doing this...BUT I MUST FOR MY REP!") and said something along the lines of, "What the fuck you lookin' at fuckin bitch-cunt!?!?!" as he stormed to the door. "YEAH DAT'S RIGHT!" he said as he opened the door. Then I guess Nick, a worker at Erb's heard him yell "DYKE BITCH!" once he was out.
Oh my god was that hilarious. None of us could stop laughing for so long, starting right when he called me a butch-cunt. I mean, he's a 15-16 year old chubby white Northfieldian boy who just strives to be a thug...and obviously it doesn't work because there was not one bit of intimidation I felt from him. Fuckin crack head. I really enjoyed his lame use of swear words too... Who the hell calls someone a bitch-cunt? Especially me? Cuz...cunt has never offended me and I laugh at people who do get offended by it cuz CUNT = VAGINA.
So...I'm a bitch-vagina? Well Sir Douche Thug, then you are an ass-penis.
Kids these days...or rather, kids like that, just make me laugh.
You had to have been there to really get kick out of it. But even the people at Erb's were laughing about it. And what makes that experience even better, is that I have never even had a conversation with him in my life.
So Tubtub, if you read this (which you won't cuz you're too hood for that, right?), my message to you is to lay off the crack, smoke some weed. And chill. You don't have to act like such a douche. It's really not getting you anywhere.
7.12.09
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